But, just because there aren’t any firm rules, doesn’t mean there aren’t some best practices you should be following. If your intention is to use social media to build your business, then focus on activities that advance your cause, and stop doing or minimize everything else. If you’re killing hours of time playing games or watching videos of kittens, and then complaining that social media takes too much time and doesn’t work for you, you should re-evaluate what you are doing.

And this lack of rules leaves some people a little lost. In every social media workshop I’ve attended, those who aren’t active yet say they haven’t jumped in because they really don’t want to post what they’ve had for breakfast that morning. And yes, if you feel compelled to post things like that, then please don’t bother. But there’s so much information that you could be sharing.

What you need to do is ask yourself these 3 questions:

1) What can I share to enhance my credibility? The majority of your posts should be intended to increase your reputation as an expert in your field. That means sharing articles and resources — your own and from others — that your followers would find helpful. It’s perfectly okay to share something personal every once in a while, that’s what adds dimension to your profile and helps people connect with you on other levels, especially if they share your same interest.

2) What can I share to help me stay in touch? Social media makes it easy to keep in touch with so many people in your network in just minutes a day. On Facebook, you can see which of your friends is having a birthday. On LinkedIn you can see who just got promoted or changed jobs. It takes just seconds to say “happy birthday” or “congratulations” or to “like” a post. It’s like tapping someone on the shoulder and saying “Hi, I noticed you today.”

3) What can I share that will help someone else? Again, it takes seconds to share a link or retweet a post on social media, which means that in seconds, you can help someone in your network spread their message. No matter how busy they may be, they’ll notice you in a very positive way because you’ve helped them. Every little touch point helps strengthen your relationship over the long term.

Hopefully this simple but powerful framework will help you become more visible and relevant in your industry and to the people in your network, and spark many more opportunities to advance your goals.

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© 2012, Liz Lynch International LLC

When you stop yourself from making that phone call, or going to that event, or reaching out to that specific contact, it usually has more to do with what you’re saying to yourself internally than what is happening around you externally.

I was sitting at the gate in Philadelphia when our gate agent made the announcement that the flight was full and they needed a few volunteers to give up their seats. Compensation included a $300 travel certificate and a guaranteed seat on the next available flight. She mentioned that those of us making connections (I was flying to San Francisco through Chicago to burn up some soon-to-expire frequent flyer miles) might even be able to get on non-stop flights on other carriers and she would be happy to check out the options for us.

For a second, I thought of getting out of my comfortable seat and volunteering, but then, other thoughts quickly replaced that one. Thoughts like…

“It’s too much work, and I might not get what I want anyway.” I had just gotten my iced coffee, found a good seat at the gate and was enjoying the first few bites of my Luna bar when the call for volunteers was made. Did I really want to gather everything up, roll over to the desk, stand in line and then be told, “We don’t need any more volunteers.”? Was it worth the trouble?

“What if I end up worse off?” My mind quickly drew a picture of me stuck in a middle seat on a cross-country flight, and I shuddered. Or what if I boarded late and all the overhead bins were full and I had to check my carry-on. Did I want to take the risk?

“Where I am is good enough.” In very short order, the negative thoughts swirling around in my head had me rationalizing that arriving in San Francisco on my original flight — close to midnight and with a stop over in Chicago — really wasn’t all that bad. Wasn’t it just easier to stay where I was?

“I have a frequent flyer ticket, they won’t want me.” This was probably the most dangerous thought of all. I was taking myself out of the running, justifying my inaction using completely made up criteria. How ridiculous was that?!?

That did it. I snapped out of my “complacency trance,” strode over to the desk and offered my seat. They weren’t sure they would need me, but took my information. Within 45 minutes I was on my way to a neighboring terminal to catch my new non-stop flight to San Francisco.

I couldn’t have had a better experience. I got a window seat in the second row, there was plenty of overhead space for my carry-on, we arrived a full hour early, AND I got frequent flyer miles for the trip even though it cost me nothing. I couldn’t believe that I had nearly talked myself out of taking action. And all it took was a few minutes.

Where do you stop yourself in your business or your life because of the stories you believe about how things work and the assumptions you make about other people?

Change that right now and make a commitment to yourself to do ONE THING this week that you’ve held yourself back from. When you stop saying “no” to yourself, you give more people around you opportunities to say “yes.”

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© 2012, Liz Lynch International LLC

Over the years though, I came to realize that in fact, I AM a connector, just a different sort.  I like helping others connect. Connect to other people, connect to information, connect to new audiences. And I love creating environments like my Monetize Your Expertise event in Philadelphia last year, and my Sun and Strategy Mastermind in Florida the year before that where the people in the room really open up, contribute ideas and collaborate with each other, and form lasting relationships in a very short amount of time.

So I guess I’m more of a “connection catalyst!”

What’s so important about being a connector? Part of what makes people WANT to work with you is your interest and commitment to building mutually beneficial relationships where you help advance the goals of others in the best way that you can. In the process, you actually end up advancing your own goals as well.

Being a connector is easier than you think. You don’t need a huge Rolodex or any special resources or super powers. What’s more important is the willingness and the openness to share what you do have. Here are 4 different options to try:

1) Online. Social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook make it so easy to share other people’s articles, posts and promotions with your followers, fans and friends. On Twitter, you can retweet a post with a few simple key strokes, while on Facebook, you can click the “Like” button, make a comment or share a post on your own wall. On LinkedIn, you can forward the profile of one contact to another to make an introduction. Don’t underestimate the power of these activities just because they take mere seconds to execute.

2) Informal meetings. A great technique I heard from a friend is to plan a monthly breakfast or lunch with a colleague or two, and each one brings another person along to introduce to the group. It’s a fun, low-key way to connect who you know with people they should know and to expand your own network as well.

3) Large events. Ten years ago, a friend and I joined forces and partnered with a local professional association to start a networking group specifically for independent consultants. Hosting monthly events with guest speakers helped me bring folks together in a structured way to learn, to meet each other and to support our businesses. While the group no longer exists, the relationships we’ve made are still there.

4) Connector’s choice. Find something you enjoy doing and be a connector around that. Like to read?Start a business book club in person or virtually. Love art? Organize regular visits to local museums or galleries and spread the word through your email list. Or use Meetup.com to connect with people who share the same interest. I love to learn and interview people about what they do, so one of my favorite ways to be a connector is to host free calls with the people in my network. Every month in the Smart Networking Shift series, I get a chance to connect an expert in my network to an audience who’s hungry for their information. It’s so much fun for me, it hardly feels like work!

What are YOUR favorite ways to be a connector in your networking circle? Post them on my Facebookwall, I’d love to hear your ideas!

Going within ourselves through reading, journaling and meditation can help us uncover answers, but don’t forget that outside of us is a wonderful resource we can also tap into: our network.The people who know, like and trust us can be excellent guides and sounding boards for our biggest challenges. When was the last time you picked up the phone or met face-to-face with a close contact to hash out an important topic? Hanging out and enjoying each other’s company is fine, but people love to help so why not take the opportunity to ask?

It’s important to have these conversations with people in your network who have a variety of perspectives, who know you from different aspects of your life, and who are open-minded. Stay away from those who are overly judgmental and/or highly opinionated (we all have a few of them in our lives, don’t we?) because they’ll tend to block the organic flow of thought and conversation and leap right into what “they think” is the best thing to do.

Here are 5 ways different contacts and colleagues in your network can provide support in defining your options and making your decision:

1) Insight. We’re so close to our issues that it can be difficult to see what’s really important. Someone with an outside perspective can help us untangle our mess of fears, desires, opinions and feelings to get to WHAT we really want and WHY we want it. Before you even figure out HOW to do something, you need to know the answers to these two questions first.

2) Information. Maybe you don’t know what to do next because you don’t have enough facts to make a decision. Someone who’s an expert in the area or has been through the experience before can help you fill in the blanks so you have a more complete picture. However, just know that you’re NEVER going to know everything in advance, so you’ll have to trust yourself at some point and make a leap.

3) Connections. Your best path to action will likely include connecting with people you don’t yet know, and your networking contacts can facilitate introductions to accelerate your journey. The more specific you can be about the people you need to meet (e.g., job title, industry, background, size of company, etc.), the easier it will be for your contacts to identify the exact person you need.

4) Accountability. Don’t be afraid to ask your network to hold your feet to the fire when you’re faced with a task or decision that you know will be hard for you and are likely to put off. One way is to voice out loud or put in writing exactly what you will do, and schedule a follow up call or meeting to report on your progress.

5) Inspiration. Sometimes we just need a reminder that we are bright and capable, or to hear a quote that touches us emotionally and gets us into action. When you need an instant dose of motivation, who in your network can play that role?

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© 2012, Liz Lynch International LLC

But a year or two after leaving corporate to start my own business, I picked up a book called Million Dollar Consulting by Alan Weiss, which I highly recommend, and which convinced me to try speaking as a way to market my business and bring in new clients. I took that advice and never looked back.

Why is speaking so effective? Whether you’re a business owner or corporate professional, speaking helps you do 4 important things:

1) Hone and expand your knowledge. To be able to give a 60-90 minute talk, you have to know your stuff. But even more, you have to know how to organize and explain your key concepts in such a way that the audience will walk away with good insights that can help and inspire them.

2) Get in front of your target audience. If you’re a business owner or sales person, giving a presentation in your area of expertise is a great way to attract people already pre-screened to be interested in what you have to say. For example, when I give my talk on“Lead Generation Leverage: Get Maximum Clients with Minimum Effort” I know the people in the room are interested in that result or they wouldn’t be there. Of course I give tons of content, but I also let them know how they can sign up for my Lead Generation Intensive where we spend the whole day mapping out the ideal multi-channel strategy for bringing more qualified leads into their business.

3) Be seen as an expert. There’s a perception that if you’re standing in front of the room conveying important information, you must know what you’re talking about. If you don’t, it becomes apparent right away. But if you do well, you’ll get invited to do it again and again, for that group or others. And the more often you are seen in front of the room, the more people perceive you as an expert AND a leader in your field.

4) Build a powerful network. Because speaking elevates your status in your field, you’ll find it easier to reach out to other leaders and get a positive response. You’ll also find more people wanting to meet YOU.

Are you a speaker, or would like to be? Post your topic on my Facebook page. I’m always coming across opportunities and would love to know who’s out there in the Smart Networking community that I can recommend.

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© 2012, Liz Lynch International LLC

If you haven’t realized by now how slim the chances are that you’ll get a referral or be hired by someone you spoke to one time for five minutes, let me be the one to break it to you. Count your blessings if it happens, but don’t be surprised when it doesn’t.

If you go to event after event collecting business cards but never taking the relationship beyond that, why waste time going at all? While not everyone you meet will be a good candidate for an extended follow up conversation, don’t let those promising prospects and partners slide by.

Let’s take a big step today to change that. Here’s a simple 5-step formula you can implement right away to turn those initial conversations at your next networking event into profitable collaborations:

1) Initiate contact. 97% of people who ask for my card never do anything with it. So if you want to push the relationship forward, YOU have to take the action. For me, a follow-up email, rather than a phone call, is one of my favorite ways to rekindle the conversation. Another effective technique is to send a LinkedIn invitation. Either way, the person can reply back at a time that’s convenient for them, and if you follow the next 4 steps of this formula, you’ll increase your chances of a favorable response.

2) Jog their memory. It’s a good idea to reference your initial meeting so they remember who you are within the first sentence or two of the email. Even better is to show that you were a good listener by mentioning something they talked about. For example: “Jim, I enjoyed meeting you at the cocktail reception at the XYZ networking event last Thursday, and hearing about the successes you’ve been having this year with launching into a new market.”

3) Connect the dots. Next, say why you think it makes sense to continue the conversation. Do you have some ideas to offer, some resources or connections? Do you see some natural synergies and think there may be ways to work together for mutual benefit? You may not have something to offer until you get to know more about their business, and that’s perfectly okay. But if you do, just know that you’ll be way ahead of the game.

4) Propose a low-barrier next step. Early on in my business as I was building my network and working to get better known in my local market, I frequently proposed a face-to-face meeting as the very next follow-up step after meeting someone at an event. Now I prefer to suggest a 15-minute phone call which is a lower barrier for both of us and can be just as effective if you have a clear agenda and process for the conversation.

5) Make it a win-win. Be sure to position this next step as a way to get to know each other’s businesses and goals, and uncover ways you might be able to help. That way, the other person will feel there will be something in it for them, and it won’t be about sitting through a one-sided sales pitch.

Now, after you’ve scheduled the follow up and had the conversation, are you ready for what happens next? Listen in on my Smart Networking Shift call “You’ve Had Lunch…Now What??? Keys to Profitable Follow-Up” with guest expert Adrian Miller to find out.

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© 2012, Liz Lynch International LLC

Whenever I speak to someone about social media who isn’t actively using it, the main reason they give for not being involved is, “I don’t want to talk about what I had for breakfast and I don’t care what others had for breakfast either.”

OMG, we have moved so far beyond that! Taking a quick glance across the posts on my Hootsuite dashboard right now, I see tweeps sharing articles, announcing new programs, giving feedback to one another, asking questions, and sending words of encouragement.It’s a community of support, and conversations are how that support is conveyed. Which conversations you initiate or participate in are totally up to you.

In last week’s Smart Networking Shift call, guest expert Dabney Porte said conversations are happening all around, and you need to get in the game. So in other words, if you were walking past a room where you saw a group of businesspeople having lunch, you might think that all they were talking about was whether the pasta was al dente enough and you’d walk right on by. But if you actually stopped to listen to the conversation, you might hear about a brand new project they were putting together, something you could contribute to through your knowledge, expertise or connections. Or you might strike a rapport with one of the diners who could become a client or spread the word about your business.

I’m not the most chatty person in the world in real life so I don’t post random thoughts online, but I do love to share information that I find and I especially love to acknowledge and promote the good work of others. So I’ve found my groove with Twitter and other social media tools to expand my network, build meaningful relationships and yes, get new business! Here are 3 things that work for me that you can do too:

1) RELAY a resource. Share a link to a relevant resource, not your own, but someone else’s. I have my Google Reader set up to pull in feeds from about 20 blogs that I follow and it takes me 15 minutes twice a week to scan through the headlines, skim the articles that look relevant, and schedule the post through an online app like Timely that allows those tweets to go out evenly over the course of the coming week all throughout the day. Not only does this help me stay visible to my followers, but it also allows me to be seen as a resource AND to build relationships with the blog authors.

2) REPLY promptly. When someone retweets me or shares my articles, I do my best to say thank you, although sometimes Hootsuite misses some of the mentions, so I don’t catch them all, aargh!). Or when someone posts a “valid” question or comment, I do try to take the time to respond. I stress the word “valid” because sometimes my name will come up in a post that is completely irrelevant just so the person, usually a spammer, can get my attention. Yeah, mission accomplished, but not in a good way!

3) RECOGNIZE a milestone. Social media makes it super simple to congratulate someone when they share a success or celebrate an occasion like a birthday, engagement or anniversary. Don’t underestimate the impact of your acknowledgment just because it takes 2 seconds to do. We all enjoy getting positive feedback and it’s those little strands of ongoing connection that develop into strong bonds over time.

Just like buying a gym membership won’t get you into shape unless you go, social media only works if you know how to work it. If others are having success on social media don’t you think you can too? Time to get in the conversation and find out.

Do you have a social media technique that’s been working for you? Post it on my Facebook wall and let’s build a library of inspiration and resource for those still getting their feet wet. I’d love to hear your ideas!

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© 2012, Liz Lynch

Well, I have news for you. Building relationships IS real work that is critical for the success of your business. And there are no real shortcuts to getting from POINT A (where someone doesn’t know you at all) to POINT B (where they’re interested in getting to know you) to POINT C (where they want to work with you and recommend you to the people they know).

There’s still a real person behind that social media profile. And as The Supremes, Phil Collins and the Dixie Chicks have all said, “You can’t hurry love.” While social media CAN save you time with your relationship building efforts, there are 5 shortcuts you absolutely should NOT take:

1) Don’t shortcut the INTRODUCTION. When inviting someone to connect with you for the first time, introduce yourself and explain why you’re reaching out. Don’t make THEM do the work to figure out who you are and why they should connect with you because chances are they won’t do that work. And even if they do accept your invitation, you’ve done nothing to move even a tiny step towards POINT B.

2) Don’t shortcut the KNOW, LIKE & TRUST. People I’ve NEVER spoken to before have asked me to to connect them to someone in my network. Listen closely…I value my network highly and if I don’t know you or your work, I won’t risk my reputation or my relationship with a blind recommendation. Build a relationship with me first, then we’ll see where to go from there.

3) Don’t shortcut the CONVERSATION. Even though you may want to connect with someone so they’ll help promote your book or website, that isn’t the first thing you should say. “Hello” would be a good alternative. Or “I enjoy your posts. Nice to connect with you.” You can’t jump to POINT C from a standing start. Before anyone will care about your agenda, you have to get them to care about YOU, and that usually only comes through interaction and conversation.

4) Don’t shortcut COMMON SENSE. Does it really make sense to tag me in a post that has nothing to do with me just so I’ll pay attention to you? Or poke me? If these tactics are shortcuts to anything they’re shortcuts to getting unfollowed and unfriended!

5) Don’t shortcut the VALUE ADD. What have you done for your network lately? Have you acknowledged them, thanked them, shared their posts or offered to help them in some way? Social media makes it easy to do all of these. BUT you have to be paying attention to find openings to contribute. Or better yet, why not just ask directly, “What can I do to help you?”

To learn some of the shortcuts that DO work and for more rules of the road for online networking, join me on my Smart Networking Shift call “Smash through the Myths and Create Social Media Success!” with guest expert Dabney Porte.

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© 2012, Liz Lynch

Question: “How can someone find a balance between networking online and in person?”

Watch more videos from the series

Why attend conferences? First is the issue of quantity. Not only do multi-day conferences attract a lot of people, they also provide so many different opportunities to meet them — during meals, at breaks, after hours. At my own live events, I also incorporate different group and partner exercises to allow participants to get to know each other’s businesses, goals and challenges, and provide opportunities for feedback and support.

Quality also comes into play. Because conferences can cost several hundred and sometimes thousands of dollars to attend, they will often attract business owners and professionals at a different stage of their business or career than events that are free. If you want to tap into a more affluent crowd, it can be well worth the investment.

But of course, you have to know how to make the most of the conference to get a good return of your time, energy and money. Here are 5 things you must do BEFORE you even walk in the door to give you the greatest chance of success:

1) Choose your event strategically. Think about the kinds of events that would attract your target prospects, as well as those that would attract target partners, other businesses with whom you can develop referral relationships or collaborations. To find events, do a keyword search online or ask your network about the kinds of conferences they attend. Don’t choose events based just on cost. If your budget is tight, you can often get substantial discounts by registering early or going with a friend and splitting the cost.

2) Plan to connect with as many people as possible. That means try to get to the event for any organized activities the night before and participate in everything while you’re there. At a multi-day conference, people WANT to network so they’ll tend to be more open and approachable, ready to talk about their businesses but also ready to find out more about you.

3) Bring plenty of business cards. Bring more than you think (better to have some extra than to run out), and if possible, put your picture on them. When your contacts get home and are sorting through the stack of cards they’ve collected, it will be easier to remember you and the conversation they had with you if your face is on your card.

4) Put a follow up system in place. Before you leave for the event, think about how you’re going to follow up with the people you meet so you don’t waste days after you get back trying to figure out what to do. Will you try to connect via LinkedIn? Then you better have your profile complete and up to date to make sure you have your best foot forward. Will you send a personal note? Buy the notecards and stamps now or sign up for a system like SendOutCards that lets you send a physical card through an online interface.

5) Prep your elevator pitch. You always want to be ready with a confident and compelling answer to the question “What do you do?” Ideally, your elevator pitch should include the kinds of clients you work with as well as your key objectives for the event. Share what you hope to get out of the conference and you just might get the help you need.

Now, if you’re ready to maximize your results at conferences in 2012, check out Conference Success Secrets to learn the whole success formula.

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© 2011, Liz Lynch

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: ”Liz Lynch, author of Smart Networking: Attract a Following In Person and Online, works with entrepreneurs who have great expertise but struggle to be seen and heard in a crowded marketplace. To learn how to raise your profile to attract the clients, connections and opportunities you deserve, visit www.LizLynchOnline.com.”